Orange Bliss

I remember one particular visit to a favorite aunt and uncle’s home when I was about 10-years-old.  Not having children of their own, they were unaware that my younger brother and I would probably prefer peanut butter sandwiches over pimento cheese. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, so I pretended to “love” my pimento cheese sandwich, while trying to discretely hide pieces of it in my pocket.  The jig was up, however, when I excused myself to the bathroom, attempted to flush it all down the toilet, and promptly overflowed the (now) orange mush all over the blue-carpeted bath.

Boy, have I come long way!  What I made into orange mush then, is orange bliss to me now.  I love pimento cheese.  I bring tubs of it home from the grocery store, and savor it on crackers, bread (always white!), celery, or just a spoon. I can’t get enough of the stuff.  Stan’s has become my favorite brand, as it seems to have the perfect blend of sweet, salty, and creamy for me, although Harris Teeter’s house brand tastes suspiciously just like it, so I like it, too.

This guilty pleasure has become so costly (have you seen the price of a tub?), that I am now on a quest for a reasonable and delicious recipe for this wonderful concoction in hopes of saving a bit of our hard-earned grocery money.  I first tried putting mayo, sharp cheddar, and diced pimentos together, but found it to be lacking.  I tried adding garlic powder, then lemon juice, then worcestershire, but still didn’t hit on the right flavor.  Someone told me that Stan’s had brown sugar in it (no wonder I liked it best!), but even that didn’t seem to do it.  I am beginning to get discouraged.

Yesterday I tried a recipe by Paula Deen, the southern cooking guru. I thought “surely this will be the end of my journey”, but, alas, it was not to be.  It was good, but it wasn’t “it”.  Maybe I am asking too much; maybe this is my Holy Grail.  Or maybe, one just more recipe, yet to be discovered, will be the be-all, end-all of my pimento cheese quest.  

Wonder if more brown sugar could be the answer?!

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